[screaming]
[Laughing]
[Screaming laughter]
Oof!
Hey, a time share
on Neptune.
I am a genius, huh?
You've put a dagger through
the heart of this marriage.
[People screaming]
[Terrified screaming]
Mom! Dad!
I'm making a snow angel!
He's a real angel now.
[Screaming]
Oh, not Leroy!
Leroy's got cooties!
[Children screaming]
It's Titan Maximum!
Uh, we know who it is!
You don't have to say it
out loud!
Um...
does Titan Maximum have
a mentally handicapped cousin?
All right, everyone!
Let's suck this popsicle dry
and shove the wooden stick
up Gibbs' crap-spout.
Hold on, Palmer!
We don't know anything
about this creep show.
We know it has a crotch,
and we have a fist.
Meeting adjourned.
Willie! Weapons, now!
Uh, uh...
okay.
Yes!
The protonic disrupter.
It fires bolts of energy
that affect the target on
a subatomic... hey!
I missed.
Give me another one.
But I only made one.
Damn it, Willie!
[Children screaming]
[Screaming]
I want a divorce.
And I'm taking the dog.
No way you're taking Mugsy!
We can't both take Mugsy!
We should fall back
and assess our damage.
Jodi, check your watch.
Huh?
What time is it?
It's 3:46...
Time to punch the fuck out
of it.
Palmer, no!
We don't know what it's capable of.
We should avoid all physical contact.
Jodi, you sound like this.
[Whiny] Meh meh meh
meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh!
Mom? Dad?
I'm okay.
Shut up, boy!
This is serious!
There'll never be another dog
like you, Mugsy...
it ducked!
The monster's self-aware, people.
Repeat... the monster is
self-aware!
Is that something we were
iffy on?
Lt... it's killing us
with love!
L-i-ice cold love!
J-J-Jodi love!
The s-systems are
f-freezing up!
The generators can't compensate!
So fix it, n-nipple d-dick!
Ummm...
umm...
Now!
Okay!
If we use the antifreeze
reservoir...
boring!
Permission to target crotch!
That won't do any...
permission granted!
This is wasting p-power!
How do we even know that this
thing has genitals?
Sasha can find the genitals
on anything that breathes.
Yeah!
[Alarm blaring]
J-J-J-Jodi,
antifreeze.
Uh,
antifreeze.
[Howling]
PALMER: Real...
Real original.
All right.
Status report, Willie.
Uh, well, it's not too bad.
But without repairs,
we're gonna be S.O.L...
"Sure outta luck."
Idiot!
Map shows a large energy
plant due north.
Hey, yeah!
The Neptunian steam farms.
If Gibbs is on Neptune,
it must be for this.
Steam?
Why would he want steam?
Maybe he has, like,
a big wrinkled suit!
[Laughs]
Don't! Banter!
Ever!
No!
Wow, will wonders never
cease?
Titan Force 5 here in my
steam farm.
Sir, we have reason to
believe that your facility has
been targeted by a real
asshole!
A criminal mastermind
named Gibbs.
She used to bone him.
A criminal?
Well, that will never do.
Do you have any idea what
he might be after?
I don't rightly know, but
you're welcome to poke around.
Nothing wrong with a little
poke, I always say.
Eh-heh.
If we could trouble you for
some spare parts.
For the great Titan Maximum?
Anything you need!
Fuel, circuit boards,
my wife's old lingerie.
[Groans]
Sweet! Willie! Leon!
Fix our crap.
All right.
To make steam, you don't need
but two things... hot and cold.
We've got plenty of cold on
Neptune, but we've got to drill
for the heat.
Neptune's core is molten magma,
you see.
Here's the animated presentation
we show to tourists.
You get tourists?
Well, we had one.
[On TV] Here it comes,
it's a gusher!
When something this hot meets
something this cold, it creates
extreme temperature variances!
That's where this special
insulated coil comes in.
There's not another one like it
in the whole solar system!
Presto! Warm steam!
What. The. Fuck?
You hold in your hand
the finest steam in the whole
solar system!
Aaahhh!
Careful. It's hot.
Oh, you think?
I just soft-boiled
my fucking eyes!
Who would buy this?
Who wouldn't?
Space is cold, my friends.
It's always nice to get a little
steamy.
What if Gibbs is after
the super-insulated coil?
It is one of kind.
Well, maybe...
wait a minute!
Is that drill made of giant
fucking diamonds?
Why the fuck didn't you
show us the damn drill first?
No one gives two squirts of
piss about steam after they see
that drill.
Hey, let's not jump
to conclusions.
Why not, Jodi?
There's the conclusion right
there!
It's within perfect jumping
distance.
I just don't think...
[rumbling]
I want that drill!
Fine.
We need Titan Maximum!
WILLIE: All systems are go!
I think you'll be proud of
the way...
Sally says we're ready, people.
Let's move!
Can of steam for the road?
Ooh! The old sucker punch
in the face!
Works every time!
Actually, I think it only
works once.
Oh, my God!
He's got a positronic disruptor!
Get ready to duck his throw!
[All scream]
PALMER: No big.
Need to sneak around to
his blind side,
sucker punch it again!
Yeah, bitch!
Palmer, no.
We have got to have a strategy.
Uh, I might have an idea.
If it involves a sucker
punch, you are an idea thief.
The monster is all icy
and everything, but its heart
and guts and stuff give off
a strong heat signature!
And if its heart isn't made
of ice...
I bet it can't regrow one!
[Groans]
But the heart is protected
under all that ice!
I have an idea that
just might...
The drill.
Duh, the drill.
Yes, the drill.
Oh, no you don't,
Icehole.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice,
fuck you!
Ha ha!
Hey!
I'm taking your giant coil!
I hope that's cool.
Oh, and this is for you...
tsssssss!
It's hot!
You will never get away
with this!
Well, I've said my piece.
This is taking too long!
[Monster growls]
Oh, crap in a hat!
How many times
do I have to tell you
punch it in the crotch!
Sasha, it doesn't work!
[Howling]
[Long battle cry]
Yes! Yes!
Yes yes yes!
Whoo hoo!
I'm stealing your soul.
[Evil laughter]
Oh, for God's sake, Sasha.
We won. Are we really gonna
keep defiling this...
Willie!
[Laughs]
It's fun!
We did it!
That's what's important.
I was right, and Jodi was wrong.
That's twice as important.
It's a bit more complicated
than that.
Ew!
Did not need to see that!
Oh, now don't be alarmed.
The terrible frostbite is
life-threatening, yes,
but that's not what's important.
It was the coil Gibbs was after
all along!
Huh.
So I was right.
It's not about right and
wrong, you conceited bitch.
You know, kids, I've been
a steam man my whole life.
And if steam's taught me
anything, it's that things work
best when you have hot and cold.
And in that regard,
steam is like people.
Some folks run hot...
and some folks are cool
and collected.
Hmm.
I have no opinion about
the monkey.
But you need both kinds of
folks.
Hot and cold.
That's the magic of science.
No two results are alike,
but every result teaches you
more about the world.
And yourself.
That's why you need temperatures
in the extreme.
Lukewarm just won't do.
It's weird that he's even
on our flag.
Anyway there's no such thing
as an exact science,
and even out here in the cold
you can find warmth
among friends.
Shut the fuck up,
you old ghoul!
We're gonna have to amputate
your hands, doctor.
Yes, I suppose you will.